The Loss of Innocence

not bad i like it

that was awesome! Update soon!! I WANT BLOOD!!!!!...that came out as more psychotic then I intended

Story-wise, I absolutely love it so far. The end of Page 4 was chilling. Will there be more? D:

If you need critique for improvement: The grammar was ocassionally a little erattic, switching between past tense and present tense - it should be entirely present tense. For example, on the first page - 'Mr. Schmidt frowns, he could never get Liu to open up' should be 'Mr. Schmidt frowned; he could never get Liu to open up.' Also, the punctuation could stand to be a little better.

But I'm sounding like a grammar Nazi here >.< Story-wise it's great. Mr. Schmidt seems like the ideal teacher, so caring of his students, to be honest it's very sweet :D Purple Guy is creepy, I like how you showed his character bit by bit - his outward friendliness, his 'inhuman growl' part impressed me because that was the first indication he really wasn't as friendly on the inside, and what he's actually up to.

It's very, very good.