ok, if you've been reading all of my Destiny JENOVA saga so far, then you know i've had a very hard life. i wasnt raised in a simple and tranquil environment like most people. i was raised by Mother, and all of her other children who were alive in my lifetime. ok, correction: there were only 3 of us at the time: me, and my two older brothers, Yazoo and Loz.
every day was literally another day of war for us. Cloud and his cohorts did everything they possibly could to keep us from completing Mother's mission/will. for many years, it was an ongoing struggle for the three of us. of course, we fought as hard as possible, despite the many barriers we came to, all thanks to Mother's enemies. the struggle seemed endless: and was certainly very real.
there was a certain point when i had developed enough through my larva state to allow me to use extremely powerful summons. i used this advantage to create a distraction so me and my fellow brothers could get away and proceed with the mission.
however, soon after i had turned 14, disaster had struck us. my brothers were killed, and i was lucky and escaped.....but, poor Yazoo and Loz were gone now. that means i am the only remaining remnant of Mother now. Even now, i clearly remember that terrible day. it was such a terrible loss, and had such a major impact on me, that i am extremely fiery at heart. in other words, i hate nearly everything about this planet.
the fact is this: the world hates us. All because of a big misunderstanding about what me and my family have been trying to achieve. i havent felt any serious friendship or love with anyone at all in years. because too many people know that i am a remnant of Mother, and are relentlessly trying to find and kill me. the struggle is frikkin endless. it wont be over until i somehow manage to reclaim the planet for Mother.....alone. i am all that remains of her. my brothers are dead, Sephiroth died long before them, etc.
And its all thanks to my archenemy: Cloud Strife. if he wasnt here, then me and my brothers would've had control of the roost a long time ago; and they wouldnt be dead, either. I'll bet even Sephiroth would still be here if it werent for that monster. but either way, im completely through my larva state. i am a female replica of Sephiroth, and have his full potential. but that doesnt fix what Cloud the monster did wrong to my family. and i plan to be rid of him once and for all: i'll make him suffer so much, he'll regret every effort he made to stop us. i'll give him the worst, most painful death imaginable. because he's the reason im all that Mother has left on this planet. i'll make his worst nightmare come to life. i am more than capable of that.
for several years, that has been literally all i could think about doing: killing Cloud Strife. there was never a day in my life i hadnt been thinking about that.....until recently. i met a man....and he brought out feelings in me i thought i'd never feel again. i feel a sense of love for him....which i never had anyone else. for many years, my hatred for the planet and Cloud Strife had completely consumed me in darkness, leaving me with very little (if any) happiness.
for the first time in my life, im beginning to learn i have a soft side as well. my boyfriend is the first one to ever bring that out in me. this is the first time i feel any love at all....for something other than Mother and my fallen family. i was certain this day would never come. i had been living in shadows and hatred for so many years, i had given up on ever feeling happy again.
i dont even know how this man brought out my loving side....because, no matter how hard they tried, nobody else was able to do it. the only happy moments i'd had since the death of my two brothers were in my sleep, where i would have dreams and see my brothers in them, and even Mother at times, and they were always trying to comfort me. but that comfort always ended each time i would start my day and set out to work on Mother's mission.
i actually sat down with my boyfriend to discuss my past with him, and everything i knew about the members of my family who worked for our beloved Mother, JENOVA. i also told him about how Cloud Strife was thriving for the extinction of my kind, and Mother's legacy with it. of course, i didnt leave out that even in my current location, i am still surrounded by Mother's enemies. and that every day for me is a day of war, seeming to never end.
he seemed very sorry for me, as he could see by everything i had told him that my entire life is like a war that never ends; an endless struggle. i eventually started crying heavily as i told him all of this, as i know there is a man out there who hates my kind for no real reason and wants us all dead. think about it: how would you feel if there was someone out there trying to kill everyone in your family, and succeeding, but having no real reason for doing it? you would probably end up like me: consumed with hatred and darkness for nearly everything under the sun, only on a much smaller scale than my case.
after i had finished explaining everything to my boyfriend, i was so saddened from remembering all of this, that i just collapsed on the bed and cried harder and louder than i have in normal cases. he tried to comfort me, then he said "i just dont know what to say....you've had such a hard life....." i was too crushed by the memories to respond. then he said "perhaps maybe you can use some help on your mission?" then, suddenly stopping my tears, i turned to look at him and said "what..?" then he smiled at me and said "i can aid you in battle, and fight with you. i hold the great magic of the red, red rose; i can easily incite love between your enemies, leaving them completely open to attack. it can give you an opportunity to escape easily....or cause them a fatal death." then, i narrowed my eyes at him curiously, and said "what else are you skilled at?" then he said "well, i can do the reverse of what i told you before. i can incite enough hatred among them spontaneously that they'll focus on killing each other." then, i thought for a moment, and said "that may come very handy. so, you're a sorcerer?" then he said "yes. i have fought using only magic my whole life, so you know im good."
then, feeling myself getting very happy, i hugged him and said "thank you....you have no idea how much this means to me. or what it means to Mother...." then he said "babe, if its important to you, then its important to me. we're a couple now, so its crucial that we work together." then i said "you're right. thank you, sweetie."
and that was the day i learned i had a soft side; despite my infinite struggles i've had my whole life trying to complete Mother's mission. i thought i would never feel this way about anyone; because i know everyone hates me just because im one of Mother's children. it takes some serious power to bring out my love. and i know that because many have tried to and failed. i ended up leaving them because i decided they were weak and useless. and no one weak and useless person should have a place in our future kingdom, where Mother lords over the planet and rules it, and her children work under her authority to defend her place as the one true Queen (if you get my drift here; not to be taken literally).
Mother raised me to be a strong, seasoned, and first-class soldier; not a helpless weakling. and whenever i have offspring just as she did, im going to pass down everything she taught me to them. what kind of daughter would i be if i didnt?
every day was literally another day of war for us. Cloud and his cohorts did everything they possibly could to keep us from completing Mother's mission/will. for many years, it was an ongoing struggle for the three of us. of course, we fought as hard as possible, despite the many barriers we came to, all thanks to Mother's enemies. the struggle seemed endless: and was certainly very real.
there was a certain point when i had developed enough through my larva state to allow me to use extremely powerful summons. i used this advantage to create a distraction so me and my fellow brothers could get away and proceed with the mission.
however, soon after i had turned 14, disaster had struck us. my brothers were killed, and i was lucky and escaped.....but, poor Yazoo and Loz were gone now. that means i am the only remaining remnant of Mother now. Even now, i clearly remember that terrible day. it was such a terrible loss, and had such a major impact on me, that i am extremely fiery at heart. in other words, i hate nearly everything about this planet.
the fact is this: the world hates us. All because of a big misunderstanding about what me and my family have been trying to achieve. i havent felt any serious friendship or love with anyone at all in years. because too many people know that i am a remnant of Mother, and are relentlessly trying to find and kill me. the struggle is frikkin endless. it wont be over until i somehow manage to reclaim the planet for Mother.....alone. i am all that remains of her. my brothers are dead, Sephiroth died long before them, etc.
And its all thanks to my archenemy: Cloud Strife. if he wasnt here, then me and my brothers would've had control of the roost a long time ago; and they wouldnt be dead, either. I'll bet even Sephiroth would still be here if it werent for that monster. but either way, im completely through my larva state. i am a female replica of Sephiroth, and have his full potential. but that doesnt fix what Cloud the monster did wrong to my family. and i plan to be rid of him once and for all: i'll make him suffer so much, he'll regret every effort he made to stop us. i'll give him the worst, most painful death imaginable. because he's the reason im all that Mother has left on this planet. i'll make his worst nightmare come to life. i am more than capable of that.
for several years, that has been literally all i could think about doing: killing Cloud Strife. there was never a day in my life i hadnt been thinking about that.....until recently. i met a man....and he brought out feelings in me i thought i'd never feel again. i feel a sense of love for him....which i never had anyone else. for many years, my hatred for the planet and Cloud Strife had completely consumed me in darkness, leaving me with very little (if any) happiness.
for the first time in my life, im beginning to learn i have a soft side as well. my boyfriend is the first one to ever bring that out in me. this is the first time i feel any love at all....for something other than Mother and my fallen family. i was certain this day would never come. i had been living in shadows and hatred for so many years, i had given up on ever feeling happy again.
i dont even know how this man brought out my loving side....because, no matter how hard they tried, nobody else was able to do it. the only happy moments i'd had since the death of my two brothers were in my sleep, where i would have dreams and see my brothers in them, and even Mother at times, and they were always trying to comfort me. but that comfort always ended each time i would start my day and set out to work on Mother's mission.
i actually sat down with my boyfriend to discuss my past with him, and everything i knew about the members of my family who worked for our beloved Mother, JENOVA. i also told him about how Cloud Strife was thriving for the extinction of my kind, and Mother's legacy with it. of course, i didnt leave out that even in my current location, i am still surrounded by Mother's enemies. and that every day for me is a day of war, seeming to never end.
he seemed very sorry for me, as he could see by everything i had told him that my entire life is like a war that never ends; an endless struggle. i eventually started crying heavily as i told him all of this, as i know there is a man out there who hates my kind for no real reason and wants us all dead. think about it: how would you feel if there was someone out there trying to kill everyone in your family, and succeeding, but having no real reason for doing it? you would probably end up like me: consumed with hatred and darkness for nearly everything under the sun, only on a much smaller scale than my case.
after i had finished explaining everything to my boyfriend, i was so saddened from remembering all of this, that i just collapsed on the bed and cried harder and louder than i have in normal cases. he tried to comfort me, then he said "i just dont know what to say....you've had such a hard life....." i was too crushed by the memories to respond. then he said "perhaps maybe you can use some help on your mission?" then, suddenly stopping my tears, i turned to look at him and said "what..?" then he smiled at me and said "i can aid you in battle, and fight with you. i hold the great magic of the red, red rose; i can easily incite love between your enemies, leaving them completely open to attack. it can give you an opportunity to escape easily....or cause them a fatal death." then, i narrowed my eyes at him curiously, and said "what else are you skilled at?" then he said "well, i can do the reverse of what i told you before. i can incite enough hatred among them spontaneously that they'll focus on killing each other." then, i thought for a moment, and said "that may come very handy. so, you're a sorcerer?" then he said "yes. i have fought using only magic my whole life, so you know im good."
then, feeling myself getting very happy, i hugged him and said "thank you....you have no idea how much this means to me. or what it means to Mother...." then he said "babe, if its important to you, then its important to me. we're a couple now, so its crucial that we work together." then i said "you're right. thank you, sweetie."
and that was the day i learned i had a soft side; despite my infinite struggles i've had my whole life trying to complete Mother's mission. i thought i would never feel this way about anyone; because i know everyone hates me just because im one of Mother's children. it takes some serious power to bring out my love. and i know that because many have tried to and failed. i ended up leaving them because i decided they were weak and useless. and no one weak and useless person should have a place in our future kingdom, where Mother lords over the planet and rules it, and her children work under her authority to defend her place as the one true Queen (if you get my drift here; not to be taken literally).
Mother raised me to be a strong, seasoned, and first-class soldier; not a helpless weakling. and whenever i have offspring just as she did, im going to pass down everything she taught me to them. what kind of daughter would i be if i didnt?
