Resource icon

Elementary Beginnings Part: 1

Latest Most helpful Rating
MindzEye
If only 3DSpedia coulda let me in back in August! I'd have found this far sooner if only!

As expected, you have yourself the plot, premise and design of a working Anime.
One of the only issues I have is when Nihilia said, "If only your father was this enthusiastic as you." Maybe something more like, "if only your father could be as enthusiastic..." or "if only your father was enthusiastic like you."
P2.0
P2.0
I don't really know how to put words, that has always been a thing for me. ^^" But I'll try to in the future!
3
I love the storyline <3

One tip tho, putting a space after you put a comma.
Like this, hi o/
Not like this,hi o/
P2.0
P2.0
Oh right, people have told me to start doing that later on. XD And thank you! I didn't think anyone was gonna read this, besides Sofa and Toxic. :p Glad you're enjoying it so far!
2
I love the plot ^^
it could be longer though c:
P2.0
P2.0
Thanks! I'll try to,but my folks keep finding something for us to do in the day,so I don't really have time.But I'll do my best! :)
TheYESDragon
Yep, I think you should go for more new paragraphs when someone is speaking, taking your time on it would make it a lot more presentable.

But it's a good start :)
P2.0
P2.0
Thanks a lot for the comments! I really want to make this thing good! Also,thanks for the tip! :p
8
Mom dies.


Calling it
P2.0
P2.0
D: Oh,that's so sad! ;-; I dun't want her to die!
1
A few spelling errors, a few gramatical errors, kinda short...
But I love it! It's a great start, and I can't wait to read the rest!
P2.0
P2.0
Darn these stupid thumbs! >.< I'll have to try not to post so fast next time. ;-; But thanks! I'll do better!
Back
Top