The First part of a sort-of parody of pokemon ORAS. Enjoy the upcoming shenanigans.
"Mom?" Brendan called.
"What?" came the muffled answer.
"Are we there yet?" For a moment, there was no sound excpet the rumble of the truck passing over the road. Of course it didn't last.
"I swear to Arceus, Brandon, if you ask that one more time, I'm stopping this truck and leaving you in the middle of the wilderness!" Brandon tightened his lips, deciding that it wouldn't be a good idea to anger his mother. Especially since he was already in the back of the moving truck from asking for snacks for 12 hours.
The 12 year-old sat on a box of his stuff, probably kindling- er... books. He was in total darkness, and every once-in-a-while, something would manage to fall and bang him on the head. But he was fine. Just a bit of bleeding from his nose and ears.
After an eternity had passed, the truck finally came to a stop. The engine died down and the rumbling finally stop. Brendan grinned. This was a new start, a chance to reinvent himself, make nnew friends, light even more things on fire. But before he could bring out his stash of matches, the door to the back of the moving truck opened wide, letting the light in. Brendan hissed and hid behind a stack of boxes.
Brendan's mother sighed in exhasperation. "Oh get out of there, Brendan. You're not a freaking ghost type."
"The darkness is my home. I was born in it. Molded by it. You we-" His monologue was interrupted by a clock falling and landing on his head. It would surely leave a nasty bump if people actually suffered real, lasting injuries in Pokemon. Oh wait, that was just for pokemon. Not humans.
"Just get out here already." Brendan begrudgingly walked to the front and jumped out of the truck, landing on the soft green grass. A fresh, clean smell permeated the air, much unlike the smog of Goldenrod City he was used to. It was awful.
Brendan chocked, grasping his throat. "Mom! There's something wrong with the air here! IT'S NOT NATURAL!"
His mother simply turned around to head into their new house. "Stop being a drama queen and get inside. I don't want the neighbors knowing how messed up you are yet." The door slammed behind her, leaving Brendan outside alone.
"What neighbors?!" He shouted. "There's only two houses in this town! And then a bunch of random creeps wandering around!" At once, every eye within hearing distance turned on the boy. And he promptly fled into his new house, locking the door behind him.
Inside, Machoke were busy carrying boxes around. Back and forth. Litterally walking within three steps back and forth infinitely. Brendan raised an eyebrow. "Uh, are they okay?"
"It's fine, Brendan. Now go upstairs and leave me alo- i mean set the new clock your dad bought to buy your love."
Entirely ignoring the last part, Brendan raced up the stairs directly into his new room. It was the only part of the house curently furnished. Which was surprising considering they had just arrived five minutes before. "Wow, those spastic Machoke really get the job done when you're not looking," he remarked, looking around. His bed was right in the opposite corner. On the other side of the room was a television set up with a Wii U game console and a bunch of random stuffed animals in varying conditions of... diarray. Brendan still had no idea why he had them. Something about "letting out his aggressions in non-destructive ways." Whatever that meant.
Brendan made his way to a wall that conviently had a clock hanging up by the wall. He grimaced upon seeing it. Instead of a normal analogue clock or something, his dad had bought him a Barney the Tyranitar-themed one. What does he think I am? 10!? He grabbed the clock and nonchalantly tossed it out of a convieniently open window. There was no need for it after all.
WIth that done with, Brendan went back downstairs. "Hey Mom! Guess what? This house only has one upstairs room too! How funny is that?" Said mother was sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands as the machoke were filing out of the front door (their wide shoulders practically destroying the frame in the process. "Wow, they work fast. Wait, were there even any trainers commanding them? Was a Machoke driving the truck?"
"Hey, how about you go say hi to our neighbors, Brendan?" his mother finally said, her head shooting up. "They have a daughter around your age."
"A girl? Ew, cooties!"
"Just go."
Reluctantly, Brendan went outside, much to his mother's relief. One can only stand a kid like that for so long after all. He walked all of the twenty feet that separated the two houses in the town and threw open the door without any warning. The woman inside could only stare in shock as the boy that had invaded their home marched right past her into her daughter's room upstairs. "Don't got time for you, lady. I've got some cooties to face."
Upstairs, Brendan poked his head into the room cautiously. It was spooky. Nearly everything in the house was the same as his. But pink! Horrifying. "So far, so good..." he muttered as he took a step in.
"What the heck are you doing in my room?" someone asked.
Brendan screamed, drawing his can of bug spray as he faced who had spoken. "Stand back! I've got a can of bug spray and a box of matches and I'm not afraid to use it!" Standing before him was a girl who seemed to be twelves as well. He couldn't help but stare at the red bow in her brown hair. So big, so bright...
She brought a hand up to her face and sighed. "Oh dear Arceus... You're my new neighbor, aren't you? Brendan, right?" She extended a hand for him to shake. "I'm May. Nice to meet you. I guess."
Brendan stared at her hand as if it were some sort of alien fruit. Or a giant toe. Either way, he was filled with disgust. "Nice try, Mary, or whatever your girl name is. But I won't fall for that."
"What is wrong with you?"
Brendan turned away. "You're not infecting me with your cooties, Marley."
May grimaced. "And for once, I thought someone normal might show up... Whatever, freak. I've gotta go to my dad's lab. Hopefully, we'll never speak again." She walked down the stairs, foolishly leaving Brendan alone in her room.
About five minutes later, Brendan emerged from May's home carrying a manchlax plushie he had found in her room. He just couldn't resist. As he began to walk toward his home, he heard a sudden shriek coming from the path leading out of town. His eyes narrowed. "This sounds like a job for... Brendan-man!"
Brendan leaped into action, leaving the doll in a mud puddle. He ran toward the route, eventually coming across a man. Being chased by an adorable, black and grey pokemon that looked like a tiny wolf. And its sharp fangs. So adorable Brendan couldn't help but say "Aww..."
The man didn't have the same thoughts. "Oh thank Arceus!" The man shouted. He looked familiar somehow. Brendan just couldn't put a finger on it... "Please, help me out, kid! No time to explain! Just go in my bag and get out one of the pokeballs! Hurry!"
Brendan's eyes traveled to the bag on the ground. He looked back and forth between it and the man before him for several moments. Finally, he looked up at the man in a lab coat. "Why?"
"Because I'm about to get mauled by a tiny wolf!" The man shouted as the poochyena bit into his leg. "Holy ****"
"But what's in it for me?"
"For Arceus' sake, kid! Fine, you can keeep the pokemon if you help me!" the poochyena's jaws sunk deeper. "Freaking help me or I will use my last breaths to strangle you!"
Brendan pursed his lips as he considered the offer. "Will you throw in a candy bar?"
The man was practically screaming at the point. "What in the Distortion World is wrong with you- Fine. Whatever."
Brendan practically squealed as he ran to the bag lying in the grass. Luckily, three pokeballs had already rolled out and onto the grass. He stared between them, occassionally shaking one of them as if that would tell him what was inside. Finally, he decided and picked up one from the ground.
Brendan threw the capsule high into the air. "Okay! I choose you, Pikablu!"
"That's not even a real pokemon!"
"Mom?" Brendan called.
"What?" came the muffled answer.
"Are we there yet?" For a moment, there was no sound excpet the rumble of the truck passing over the road. Of course it didn't last.
"I swear to Arceus, Brandon, if you ask that one more time, I'm stopping this truck and leaving you in the middle of the wilderness!" Brandon tightened his lips, deciding that it wouldn't be a good idea to anger his mother. Especially since he was already in the back of the moving truck from asking for snacks for 12 hours.
The 12 year-old sat on a box of his stuff, probably kindling- er... books. He was in total darkness, and every once-in-a-while, something would manage to fall and bang him on the head. But he was fine. Just a bit of bleeding from his nose and ears.
After an eternity had passed, the truck finally came to a stop. The engine died down and the rumbling finally stop. Brendan grinned. This was a new start, a chance to reinvent himself, make nnew friends, light even more things on fire. But before he could bring out his stash of matches, the door to the back of the moving truck opened wide, letting the light in. Brendan hissed and hid behind a stack of boxes.
Brendan's mother sighed in exhasperation. "Oh get out of there, Brendan. You're not a freaking ghost type."
"The darkness is my home. I was born in it. Molded by it. You we-" His monologue was interrupted by a clock falling and landing on his head. It would surely leave a nasty bump if people actually suffered real, lasting injuries in Pokemon. Oh wait, that was just for pokemon. Not humans.
"Just get out here already." Brendan begrudgingly walked to the front and jumped out of the truck, landing on the soft green grass. A fresh, clean smell permeated the air, much unlike the smog of Goldenrod City he was used to. It was awful.
Brendan chocked, grasping his throat. "Mom! There's something wrong with the air here! IT'S NOT NATURAL!"
His mother simply turned around to head into their new house. "Stop being a drama queen and get inside. I don't want the neighbors knowing how messed up you are yet." The door slammed behind her, leaving Brendan outside alone.
"What neighbors?!" He shouted. "There's only two houses in this town! And then a bunch of random creeps wandering around!" At once, every eye within hearing distance turned on the boy. And he promptly fled into his new house, locking the door behind him.
Inside, Machoke were busy carrying boxes around. Back and forth. Litterally walking within three steps back and forth infinitely. Brendan raised an eyebrow. "Uh, are they okay?"
"It's fine, Brendan. Now go upstairs and leave me alo- i mean set the new clock your dad bought to buy your love."
Entirely ignoring the last part, Brendan raced up the stairs directly into his new room. It was the only part of the house curently furnished. Which was surprising considering they had just arrived five minutes before. "Wow, those spastic Machoke really get the job done when you're not looking," he remarked, looking around. His bed was right in the opposite corner. On the other side of the room was a television set up with a Wii U game console and a bunch of random stuffed animals in varying conditions of... diarray. Brendan still had no idea why he had them. Something about "letting out his aggressions in non-destructive ways." Whatever that meant.
Brendan made his way to a wall that conviently had a clock hanging up by the wall. He grimaced upon seeing it. Instead of a normal analogue clock or something, his dad had bought him a Barney the Tyranitar-themed one. What does he think I am? 10!? He grabbed the clock and nonchalantly tossed it out of a convieniently open window. There was no need for it after all.
WIth that done with, Brendan went back downstairs. "Hey Mom! Guess what? This house only has one upstairs room too! How funny is that?" Said mother was sitting at the kitchen table with her head in her hands as the machoke were filing out of the front door (their wide shoulders practically destroying the frame in the process. "Wow, they work fast. Wait, were there even any trainers commanding them? Was a Machoke driving the truck?"
"Hey, how about you go say hi to our neighbors, Brendan?" his mother finally said, her head shooting up. "They have a daughter around your age."
"A girl? Ew, cooties!"
"Just go."
Reluctantly, Brendan went outside, much to his mother's relief. One can only stand a kid like that for so long after all. He walked all of the twenty feet that separated the two houses in the town and threw open the door without any warning. The woman inside could only stare in shock as the boy that had invaded their home marched right past her into her daughter's room upstairs. "Don't got time for you, lady. I've got some cooties to face."
Upstairs, Brendan poked his head into the room cautiously. It was spooky. Nearly everything in the house was the same as his. But pink! Horrifying. "So far, so good..." he muttered as he took a step in.
"What the heck are you doing in my room?" someone asked.
Brendan screamed, drawing his can of bug spray as he faced who had spoken. "Stand back! I've got a can of bug spray and a box of matches and I'm not afraid to use it!" Standing before him was a girl who seemed to be twelves as well. He couldn't help but stare at the red bow in her brown hair. So big, so bright...
She brought a hand up to her face and sighed. "Oh dear Arceus... You're my new neighbor, aren't you? Brendan, right?" She extended a hand for him to shake. "I'm May. Nice to meet you. I guess."
Brendan stared at her hand as if it were some sort of alien fruit. Or a giant toe. Either way, he was filled with disgust. "Nice try, Mary, or whatever your girl name is. But I won't fall for that."
"What is wrong with you?"
Brendan turned away. "You're not infecting me with your cooties, Marley."
May grimaced. "And for once, I thought someone normal might show up... Whatever, freak. I've gotta go to my dad's lab. Hopefully, we'll never speak again." She walked down the stairs, foolishly leaving Brendan alone in her room.
About five minutes later, Brendan emerged from May's home carrying a manchlax plushie he had found in her room. He just couldn't resist. As he began to walk toward his home, he heard a sudden shriek coming from the path leading out of town. His eyes narrowed. "This sounds like a job for... Brendan-man!"
Brendan leaped into action, leaving the doll in a mud puddle. He ran toward the route, eventually coming across a man. Being chased by an adorable, black and grey pokemon that looked like a tiny wolf. And its sharp fangs. So adorable Brendan couldn't help but say "Aww..."
The man didn't have the same thoughts. "Oh thank Arceus!" The man shouted. He looked familiar somehow. Brendan just couldn't put a finger on it... "Please, help me out, kid! No time to explain! Just go in my bag and get out one of the pokeballs! Hurry!"
Brendan's eyes traveled to the bag on the ground. He looked back and forth between it and the man before him for several moments. Finally, he looked up at the man in a lab coat. "Why?"
"Because I'm about to get mauled by a tiny wolf!" The man shouted as the poochyena bit into his leg. "Holy ****"
"But what's in it for me?"
"For Arceus' sake, kid! Fine, you can keeep the pokemon if you help me!" the poochyena's jaws sunk deeper. "Freaking help me or I will use my last breaths to strangle you!"
Brendan pursed his lips as he considered the offer. "Will you throw in a candy bar?"
The man was practically screaming at the point. "What in the Distortion World is wrong with you- Fine. Whatever."
Brendan practically squealed as he ran to the bag lying in the grass. Luckily, three pokeballs had already rolled out and onto the grass. He stared between them, occassionally shaking one of them as if that would tell him what was inside. Finally, he decided and picked up one from the ground.
Brendan threw the capsule high into the air. "Okay! I choose you, Pikablu!"
"That's not even a real pokemon!"
