Inspired by Magic the Gathering. This is not an official anything. All rights belong to Wizards of the Coast and their affiliates.
Author: Erix Summerdown.
Mild language. Violence.
In life, and in the Ravnican upperworld, you're always brushing shoulders to get to where you're going. And today's lookin' to be one of those nudge-and-groan days.
Every day of the week - except for some observed holidays, or tax-days, or anytime Jelv's acts show their faces up here - the streets are jammed, air to ground.
But lemme tell ya why I really hate walking in Irden of all cities.
We're all walkin' in Azorius territory: which means you can't take a step without a griffin, a hussar, or one o' them damn tattlespheres tailin' you to the ends of Ravnica. and believe you me, they got it in for guys in my colors.
Azorius walkways are a drag too. Besides being restrictive and envasive, they have a sort of mind of their own. I ain't one to know a damn thing about manaologics, but this is how it works; The whole scene is reflected from above on a sort of glass pane: "sort of," as in "it's there but it isn't." The names of everyone walking under it - and any and all offenses they've been convicted of - is projected on this glass.
It's pretty annoying if you ask me, how anyone could just look up and find my name up there, how the next Haazda kid could come lock me up again based on "reasonable suspicion."
|DRIDGE MALICE;
Arson, Mayhem with a deadly weapon, Conspiracy to upset order.
Rakdos,
Mid-aged,
Self-Employed Musician,
Dying or undead.|
Eh. I've spent so many years on a wanted list one way or another, I'm used to it.
As I continue down the road, lotta talk bounces around about "A monster in Dim Street," or "Assassinations in Greygarden," but nothing too interesting. I blame the assassin on some mug hired by the Orzhov to stir things up. And the monster? Well, all sortsa things wander that street at night, it coulda been a troll wearing hides or something like that. These upperworld kids piss themselves over the smallest things, it's almost funny.
I spot Jelv's place just around the bend. Good thing too, I was just getting annoyed with this place.
Tellin' ya, bein' under this giant microscope gets under my skin. I'll just sneak out from under it, talk a little business with that demon, and be right as rain-
"Transgression in progress." The enormous alarms start goin' off. The air became electric. The street stopped right on its heels. That huge reflection shimmered away, and it seemed all Azoria dropped from the sky in a rush of air. "Transgression in progress." Hussars and tattlespheres flew off the backs and claws of griffins, all of which landed without much a sound.
"Remain calm fellow Irden citizens," so barked the first soldier on the ground, "We request the transgressing party step peaceably toward the nearest official Azorius soldier. Refusal to comply will result in further violations to city ordinances, and detainment."
The Azorius soldiers stood in neat lines on both sides of the walkway, arms crossed or weapons sheathed. Pretty soon they'll start closing in, each line of soldiers walking toward the other in some scare-tactic to box in the guy they're after, and maybe get a couple a' whimps to confess to things they probably did.
What do these guys want anyway? They don't u'sally call the boys in white 'n' blue in for little violations.
"This is your final warning. Respond peaceably or be detained by the Irden Azoria."
Damn, they're not pushin' over. If one 'a them puts their gloves on me-
"Epts Grenger!"
Not sure I believe what I see next, but a goblin in an Izzet Zapwing pack shot into the sky. He shouts in that crazy goblin language, something like, "I'm not going back there!" and soars a ways
past the blockade. ...which wasn't far before the next hussar fell on top of him. I thought that was pretty funny.
He sticks a set of lock-rings behind the goblin's back and recites Prav's rights to him: "Epts Grenger, you are hearby detained for public disaster, multiple counts of unsanctioned flight in an Irden walkway, and excessive speeding..." y'know, things like that.
I'll admit though, I thought they were after me awhile there, I was a hair away from committing a few transgressions of my own. Better scat while no one's looking at me.
Jelv's lucky I put up with him and his orders, no body else'd ask me to go through that without a good reason, like a few zidos.
Author: Erix Summerdown.
Mild language. Violence.
In life, and in the Ravnican upperworld, you're always brushing shoulders to get to where you're going. And today's lookin' to be one of those nudge-and-groan days.
Every day of the week - except for some observed holidays, or tax-days, or anytime Jelv's acts show their faces up here - the streets are jammed, air to ground.
But lemme tell ya why I really hate walking in Irden of all cities.
We're all walkin' in Azorius territory: which means you can't take a step without a griffin, a hussar, or one o' them damn tattlespheres tailin' you to the ends of Ravnica. and believe you me, they got it in for guys in my colors.
Azorius walkways are a drag too. Besides being restrictive and envasive, they have a sort of mind of their own. I ain't one to know a damn thing about manaologics, but this is how it works; The whole scene is reflected from above on a sort of glass pane: "sort of," as in "it's there but it isn't." The names of everyone walking under it - and any and all offenses they've been convicted of - is projected on this glass.
It's pretty annoying if you ask me, how anyone could just look up and find my name up there, how the next Haazda kid could come lock me up again based on "reasonable suspicion."
|DRIDGE MALICE;
Arson, Mayhem with a deadly weapon, Conspiracy to upset order.
Rakdos,
Mid-aged,
Self-Employed Musician,
Dying or undead.|
Eh. I've spent so many years on a wanted list one way or another, I'm used to it.
As I continue down the road, lotta talk bounces around about "A monster in Dim Street," or "Assassinations in Greygarden," but nothing too interesting. I blame the assassin on some mug hired by the Orzhov to stir things up. And the monster? Well, all sortsa things wander that street at night, it coulda been a troll wearing hides or something like that. These upperworld kids piss themselves over the smallest things, it's almost funny.
I spot Jelv's place just around the bend. Good thing too, I was just getting annoyed with this place.
Tellin' ya, bein' under this giant microscope gets under my skin. I'll just sneak out from under it, talk a little business with that demon, and be right as rain-
"Transgression in progress." The enormous alarms start goin' off. The air became electric. The street stopped right on its heels. That huge reflection shimmered away, and it seemed all Azoria dropped from the sky in a rush of air. "Transgression in progress." Hussars and tattlespheres flew off the backs and claws of griffins, all of which landed without much a sound.
"Remain calm fellow Irden citizens," so barked the first soldier on the ground, "We request the transgressing party step peaceably toward the nearest official Azorius soldier. Refusal to comply will result in further violations to city ordinances, and detainment."
The Azorius soldiers stood in neat lines on both sides of the walkway, arms crossed or weapons sheathed. Pretty soon they'll start closing in, each line of soldiers walking toward the other in some scare-tactic to box in the guy they're after, and maybe get a couple a' whimps to confess to things they probably did.
What do these guys want anyway? They don't u'sally call the boys in white 'n' blue in for little violations.
"This is your final warning. Respond peaceably or be detained by the Irden Azoria."
Damn, they're not pushin' over. If one 'a them puts their gloves on me-
"Epts Grenger!"
Not sure I believe what I see next, but a goblin in an Izzet Zapwing pack shot into the sky. He shouts in that crazy goblin language, something like, "I'm not going back there!" and soars a ways
past the blockade. ...which wasn't far before the next hussar fell on top of him. I thought that was pretty funny.
He sticks a set of lock-rings behind the goblin's back and recites Prav's rights to him: "Epts Grenger, you are hearby detained for public disaster, multiple counts of unsanctioned flight in an Irden walkway, and excessive speeding..." y'know, things like that.
I'll admit though, I thought they were after me awhile there, I was a hair away from committing a few transgressions of my own. Better scat while no one's looking at me.
Jelv's lucky I put up with him and his orders, no body else'd ask me to go through that without a good reason, like a few zidos.