Childhoods have been shattered apart because of one movie.A movie with the name of the most recognized face of videogames,and one such to save the media and keep a soft spot in many kid's memories...well,should we feel the need to get rid of this,we shall do it now.It has arrived to get out of comfort zone,and look upon a destroyer,the big daddy of videogame movies.Folks,this is the Super Mario Bros. Movie. 
The driving point in this movie regards the dinosaur extinction,with the meteorite destroying life and existance of all dinosaurs on the planet.Apparently though,a parallel dimension gives them a second chance,and now most dinosaurs are humanoids.They now aim to reunite their new home with the reality present 65 million years after the meteor crashed.Mario and "Luigi",living as a plumbing duo in Brooklyn,meet Daisy(not Peach;Daisy) on one normal afternoon,and at the same day at night on a type of double-date,they discover a secret portal of sorts leading to that dimension belonged to the hybrid dinosaurs.Daisy is brought there by ""Koopa"'s "minions"" because she holds a magic stone which belongs to that meteorite capable of doing said objective,and now the "Mario Bros." must save both worlds of collapsing.
Whether this story is stupid or not for something as simple as Mario is up to you,but I've seen better things in a Japanese animated adaptation that's 60 minutes long than in a world-widely released live-action flick as long as 100 minutes.You see where I'm going with this argument?
Generally speaking,this whole movie is awkward,cheesy,stupid and at times,disturbing.Many times you can notice these aspects during the movie.Imagine a poor victimed kid who's a Mario juggernaut,seeing a movie with the name that has realistic faces coming out of sand walls asking for help,human-looking creatures with lizard tongues and them freaking Goombas?It's a tough nugget to chew,and you'll want to spit it out soon as you can.The effects though are a mixbag.Some ascetics can look somewhat decent,but then others look rather sub-par,and at brief times,just nightmare-inducing to 1993's standards.I would be completly fine if this was aimed by purpose to make the Mario Brothers more hardcore than usual,but it's just the handling of the execution being so tremendously poor that it almost hurts.Lots of things don't make sense,most of the dialogue is also super duperly corny,and sometimes the characters seem to have their brains turned off for more important moments.Oh,and it's said Mario and Luigi are more than just brothers.It's stated that Mario is Luigi's father and mother too.
Do not take lessons from this movie if you want to be a good director.It'll save your life,I can guarantee it.
Almost nothing in this movie does the littlest bit of resemblance to what they're called to be.The only things that I can think are loyal to the games are Mario,Yoshi and the Bob-Omb.Forget the rest,because the less said about how they appear in this movie the better.For example,Toad,a small mushroom citizen,is now a hoboless guitarist hippie man.Goombas,those small little harmless mushroom-shaped enemies without arms,are now hiper terrifying beasts as big as a standing savage bear...There's also the case of other facts that don't make any sense of context as well.Example,Mario's pair-up isn't Peach,nor Pauline,but someone else named Daniela.Notice that I used "quotes" on some names early in the second paragraph?That's because said names don't even properly match what they're supposed to be from the games.The actor for Mario is good,but yet they managed to get Luigi so wrong.Just seriously.The general cast for the movie aren't the ones to blame though as they're just doing what's said in their paycheck,although nothing is really memorable,say for "King Koopa" here mentioning a bomb and a monkey.
It's one of the most catastrophic movies to come to the media.I will admit this movie can be looked for the most part as a "it's so bad it's good" type.I mean,some funny stuff are to be spotted,but really,not a single thing can take the Super Mario Bros. Movie even out of the "bad" quality degree.The writting is messed more than the world' biggest plumbing dumpster,the visuals are mediocre and it just plain tests your inteligence to erase everything Mario you might have had in your brain after just 20 minutes of watchtime.Like I had.Save your time,and if you really want to see a decent Mario cinematic transaction,check the 1986 animated adaptation "Super Mario Bros.:The Great Mission to Rescues Princess Peach!" instead.Yes,it's older,shorter and only in japanese,but it'll certainly not destroy your intelligence and give a bad time as a movie watcher and/or Mario fan.You know,unlike this thing.
The driving point in this movie regards the dinosaur extinction,with the meteorite destroying life and existance of all dinosaurs on the planet.Apparently though,a parallel dimension gives them a second chance,and now most dinosaurs are humanoids.They now aim to reunite their new home with the reality present 65 million years after the meteor crashed.Mario and "Luigi",living as a plumbing duo in Brooklyn,meet Daisy(not Peach;Daisy) on one normal afternoon,and at the same day at night on a type of double-date,they discover a secret portal of sorts leading to that dimension belonged to the hybrid dinosaurs.Daisy is brought there by ""Koopa"'s "minions"" because she holds a magic stone which belongs to that meteorite capable of doing said objective,and now the "Mario Bros." must save both worlds of collapsing.
Whether this story is stupid or not for something as simple as Mario is up to you,but I've seen better things in a Japanese animated adaptation that's 60 minutes long than in a world-widely released live-action flick as long as 100 minutes.You see where I'm going with this argument?
Generally speaking,this whole movie is awkward,cheesy,stupid and at times,disturbing.Many times you can notice these aspects during the movie.Imagine a poor victimed kid who's a Mario juggernaut,seeing a movie with the name that has realistic faces coming out of sand walls asking for help,human-looking creatures with lizard tongues and them freaking Goombas?It's a tough nugget to chew,and you'll want to spit it out soon as you can.The effects though are a mixbag.Some ascetics can look somewhat decent,but then others look rather sub-par,and at brief times,just nightmare-inducing to 1993's standards.I would be completly fine if this was aimed by purpose to make the Mario Brothers more hardcore than usual,but it's just the handling of the execution being so tremendously poor that it almost hurts.Lots of things don't make sense,most of the dialogue is also super duperly corny,and sometimes the characters seem to have their brains turned off for more important moments.Oh,and it's said Mario and Luigi are more than just brothers.It's stated that Mario is Luigi's father and mother too.
Do not take lessons from this movie if you want to be a good director.It'll save your life,I can guarantee it.
Almost nothing in this movie does the littlest bit of resemblance to what they're called to be.The only things that I can think are loyal to the games are Mario,Yoshi and the Bob-Omb.Forget the rest,because the less said about how they appear in this movie the better.For example,Toad,a small mushroom citizen,is now a hoboless guitarist hippie man.Goombas,those small little harmless mushroom-shaped enemies without arms,are now hiper terrifying beasts as big as a standing savage bear...There's also the case of other facts that don't make any sense of context as well.Example,Mario's pair-up isn't Peach,nor Pauline,but someone else named Daniela.Notice that I used "quotes" on some names early in the second paragraph?That's because said names don't even properly match what they're supposed to be from the games.The actor for Mario is good,but yet they managed to get Luigi so wrong.Just seriously.The general cast for the movie aren't the ones to blame though as they're just doing what's said in their paycheck,although nothing is really memorable,say for "King Koopa" here mentioning a bomb and a monkey.
It's one of the most catastrophic movies to come to the media.I will admit this movie can be looked for the most part as a "it's so bad it's good" type.I mean,some funny stuff are to be spotted,but really,not a single thing can take the Super Mario Bros. Movie even out of the "bad" quality degree.The writting is messed more than the world' biggest plumbing dumpster,the visuals are mediocre and it just plain tests your inteligence to erase everything Mario you might have had in your brain after just 20 minutes of watchtime.Like I had.Save your time,and if you really want to see a decent Mario cinematic transaction,check the 1986 animated adaptation "Super Mario Bros.:The Great Mission to Rescues Princess Peach!" instead.Yes,it's older,shorter and only in japanese,but it'll certainly not destroy your intelligence and give a bad time as a movie watcher and/or Mario fan.You know,unlike this thing.
And the final verdict is:
It's terrible...
It's terrible...
