How to be Cool in School

Hi guys! This is a super-helpful guide on how to be cool and popular in today's generation! The guide is going to be split into two parts.

Note: This is based of the state I live in. >.>

This is all a joke. You don't really become cool like this so don't try it. :c

Guys
You will need..

Expensive shoes (preferably Jordan's)
A hoodie
Large, baggy jeans
Sunglasses
SWAG
Large belt
headphones
smartphone

Alright, so how do you achieve maximum coolness? You have to sag your pants so that your boxers show and walk like a thug. put the belt on, but hold it while you are walking. Walk like you're gonna fall backwards and are trying to hold yourself up. Also, you have to use slang. You have to tell your teachers you're living the YOLO lifestyle. Be disrespectful to your teachers and threaten to hit them with a shoe if they don't bow to your every whim. If anyone tries to be nice to you, insult them and laugh like a donkey afterward.

Here are the steps:

Put on all the required items. Make sure you are sagging your pants and walking like a backwards zombie. You have to say the word swag at least once every 5 minutes in order to be accepted as cool.
Be a rebel. Cool kids aren't educated.
Use your smartphone 24/7 and SLAP them beats. (play music on headphones 24/7)
Jaywalk on the street like there's nobody there and yell YOLO at the cars.
Yell at your math teacher for thinking this stuff is useful.
Argue with the teacher and disrupt class.
Trying yelling BRUH to your friends.
Make sure you're taking pictures of everything so you can post it on instagram later.

Girls

You will need...

Eyeliner
Lipstick
Concealer
Makeup purse
Heels
Some fancy-expensive outfit
Sassy-attitude
Manicure
Smartphone

To achieve maximum coolness as a girl, you have to explode your face with makeup and wink at people. Then you have a good conversation with them and betray them afterward. t~~hen you complain to your friends about how~~ ~~You cry about your your boyfriend broke up with you and then get back together again.~~ Don't be yourself. You have to be sassy and fiesty and act like you know everything. When a guy tries to talk to you, push him away playfully and call him an idiot. Take selfies in class using a filter and use appropriate hashtags such as #OOTD (outfit of the day) #TBT (throwback Thursday) Make sure you're using your phone all the time and don't forget to send your selfies to your friends on snapchat.

Post selfies.
Act cool.
Don't be nice. Be rude and rebellious.
Paint your nails in class
Dont forget the selfies
Make your voice higher-pitched so you think you sound cute whereas in reality you sound like a dying cat.

Once again, this is just a joke~! Do not actually try any of these >.> If you disagree with me it's fine, but this is just my opinion. I hope it made someone laugh.