Mario Kart 7: The Red Shell (Short Illustrative Script)

THE RED SHELL

Mario: I haven't seen you on the tracks lately, Villager
Villager: (That's because something horrible happened)
What happened?
(A red shell happened. Two to be exact!)
Elaborate...

*flashback*


Red Shell: I AM RED SHELL
(I thought I heard someone...)

MY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO SLOW RACER DOWN
(Yep, I definitely heard someone...)

PLZ STOP SO I CAN HIT YOU K?
(Who is talking?)

NVM I COME THROUGH SAND AND HIT YOU
(I think it's that red shell)

I HAVE YOU CORNERED NOW TIME TO SLOW YOU DOWN
(Is that red shell trying to run into me?)

(I wish I had my axe, but this leaf will do)
NO NO, PLZ DON'T DO THAT PLZ
(SERENA!!! I missed!!!)

YOU'RE SO MEAN RACER

I LEAVE AND HIT SUM1 ELSE GOODBYE!
(That stumpmaker made me swerve out of the road...)

(Thank serena that red shell is gone! Now I can race in peace)

Red Shell #2: I heard that you tried to hurt my cousin. You're gonna pay for your murderous attempts!
(THESE FREAKING RED SHELLS ARE WORSE THAN BEES)

*Insert dramatic music*

*Eject Dramatic Music*
*End flashback*


(And that, Mario, is why I hate red shells)

(As well as Princess Daisy...)

FIN