THE RED SHELL
Mario: I haven't seen you on the tracks lately, Villager
Villager: (That's because something horrible happened)
(A red shell happened. Two to be exact!)
Red Shell: I AM RED SHELL
(I thought I heard someone...)
MY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO SLOW RACER DOWN
(Yep, I definitely heard someone...)
PLZ STOP SO I CAN HIT YOU K?
(Who is talking?)
NVM I COME THROUGH SAND AND HIT YOU
(I think it's that red shell)
I HAVE YOU CORNERED NOW TIME TO SLOW YOU DOWN
(Is that red shell trying to run into me?)
(I wish I had my axe, but this leaf will do)
NO NO, PLZ DON'T DO THAT PLZ
(SERENA!!! I missed!!!)
YOU'RE SO MEAN RACER
I LEAVE AND HIT SUM1 ELSE GOODBYE!
(That stumpmaker made me swerve out of the road...)
(Thank serena that red shell is gone! Now I can race in peace)
Red Shell #2: I heard that you tried to hurt my cousin. You're gonna pay for your murderous attempts!
(THESE FREAKING RED SHELLS ARE WORSE THAN BEES)
*Insert dramatic music*
*Eject Dramatic Music*
(And that, Mario, is why I hate red shells)
(As well as Princess Daisy...)
Mario Kart 7: The Red Shell (Short Illustrative Script)
Villager hates this item...